New Bong + IgnAssembly: Fresita -> La Petite Fraise

This one goes out to one petite little lady who let me jack this bottle off her after she was done with it.

Materials used:
-aluminum bowly bowl
-aluminum downstem
-stainless steel stem extension
-aluminum tape stem connection
-badass homemade percolator
-vinyl tubing inhalation hose
-rubber grommet hose seal

Smokability:
I see this girl rolling personal pinners most of the time. This sleek and feminine little one-hitter ought to serve its purpose allowing her to be too lazy to roll, but still able to get lifted.
You can keep it accessible on a shelf at home or take it with you to pagan folk metal forest parties. It's all good man.

Room Stinkability:
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New Bong + IgnAssembly: Belvedere -> The Beloved Belvederrières

Big op to me bredren in love out in the fuckin' 'Murikan boondocks with a god damn lake for a backyard. Y'all straight up fam.

You fools is the youngest old ass nigga couple I ever did see, like youz were born to be seniors and still rollin' together like a cosmic team of Werther's Originals and yelling at teenagers.
I hope this keeps you cozy this Winter Solstice, and may your 2-person gang last throughout the ages.
See you kids in the next Yuga!

Materials used:
-aluminum downstem
-generously wide hardwood bowl - ebony black (almost as black as deez nuts)
-rubber seal under the bowl
-stainless steel downstem extension
-vinyl tubing inhalation hose x2
-rubber grommet tubing seals
-rubber grommet choke hole comfort pad
-bitchin' ass percolator

Smokability:
Yo, you tell me. I ain't never hit a 2man apparatus, and ain't planning to stink this up for border dogs to find.

Room Stinkability:
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Diggin' up old shit

Check out this old-ass pipe I made a few years ago!

This piece involved only minor gutting of inner pieces and obstructions. The iconic cling-clang sound of the trigger mechanism was saved; some classics, you just don't fuck with.
I even used the housing of the Zapper's original wire as my air tube, and kept that shit air-tight.
The bowl is a big ol' faucet head I found in the tool room, and a little alum. foil makes a great screen.


Yo boi Beardy knows how to work more than just glass!

LVL UP ~ Ash Ketchum in the heezy fo sheezy

Lazy bong cleaners, rejoice!

(and there are a lot of you out there)

Trust me bros, nobody likes doing it, but it needs to be done.

But it doesn't have to be such a damn chore anymore to dump that stanky-ass water and scrub gunk off the walls. Why flip the whole bottle, when you can flip a mini bottle instead?!

Harshness? Nigga please.

You know I does it proper with the proprietary percolator, but when I add a second water chamber, odds of feeling your rip reduce to -35%.

Just tried it right now. Blew my damn mind.

Ash Catcher	noun
	An attatchment for a bong that slides into the diffuser containing another water pool and downstem to catch the ashes. Keeps a real smokers pipe clean for longer by never letting the ashes touch the tube. Dude my new ash catcher is the SHIT!! I havent had to clean my bong in a month!

-http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Bärenjäger honey liqueur -> Hivemind

Materials used:
-brass coupling bowl
-stainless steel downstem
-aluminum tape bowl/stem connector
-aluminum can connector reinforcement
-rubber grommet downstem seal on the bottle cap
-vinyl tubing inhalation hose
-rubber grommet hose seal
-rubber grommet choke hole comfort pad
-badass bubble diffuser

Smokability:
All y'all mead drinkers out there, hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Germany, hollaaaaaaaaaa!
Today, we pay homage to one of nature's key muthafuckin players; the pollinators of flowers and fruits, who are responsible for about 80% of all plant reproduction, and who devour nectar and barf it back out for us to enjoy in our tea, liquor, or by the spoonful.
Imbued with the very spirit of the bee's elixir, you gonna feel like you just harnessed the power of the bear, or the utterly fucking ferocious ratel when you hit this bitch.

Room Stinkability:
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Tested and approved by these assholes ->

Domingo wine cooler REEEEEEEEMIXXXX

Materials Used:

-stainless steel bowl with cap

-red-as-fuck aluminum stem

-stainless steel stem extender

-aluminum tape + shrink wrap tubing extender connector

-badass bubble diffuser

-old electrical wire housing inhaler hose

-rubber grommet hose seal

-rubber grommet downstem seal on the cap, nigga

Smokability:

There comes a time in every artist, inventor, scientist, or alchemist's life when he/she's just got it. I mean just fucking nails the swish like Kobe, and makes something truly magnificent. For me, that time is now, and that thing is this.

Old Tropicool is looking like a turd beside this, and I actually loved Tropicool! This time around, I maxed out on efficiency;

-kept the bottle cap and drilled right through the bitch, for idiot-proof spill protection!

-srs business class bowl with wind guard cap -- pack a fat hit, keep it lit, pass that shit

-slapped on a proper bubble diffuser - I wish I could force you to believe me when I say 0 (zero) harshness.

Room Stinkability:
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This is a fucking achievement for me. Actually, fkyall, I'm keeping this one for myself.

That dude on the radio in GTA4 did say, "once you've flown first class, it sucks to take the bus", and that man was RIGHT.

Word.

Perrier lime -> Midsummer Picnic In A Luscious Field of Citrus Trees

on special, brah

Materials used:
-brass coupling bowl
-stainless steel stem
-aluminum tape + shrink wrap tubing connection
-rubber grommet stem seal
-rubber grommet choke pad

Smokability:
Some of you fools remember the old Perrier bong I made. That shit was sub-standard.
Here, I use much safer parts, and it just looks better goddamnit. You best show love for the S curve, because it will return that love x20 when you're hitting a gram, and watching that red hot ingredient seep its heavenly fumes down a chilled steel waterslide of pure win.

Room Stinkability:
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Fill this ho up with water as cold as a true pimp's heart and some lime juice, and try it on a nice summer day.
Pa.
Ra.
Fucking.
Dise.

Appleton Estate rum -> The Exceptional Shiznit

Materials used:
-brass deep bowl
-stainless steel stem
-aluminum tape + shrink wrap tubing connection
-vinyl tubing inhalation hose
-rubber grommet hose seal
-rubber grommet choke hole comfort pad

Smokability:
The mouth on this mother is pretty wide, so a bowl fit for pros is slapped on. This little lovely ain't for no nubs to the game of ignance. Fill the bitch up as high as you want with water, there's plenty of room for as much or as little smoke in the chamber as you want.
Enjoy. Or hook up your jamaican bredren with some ting that'll blow their minds with national pride or some shit.

Room Stinkability:
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I used one of the mini bottles as a wedding gift for one of my niggas who seems to never be without a J when I'm riding shotgun to one of our gigs.
He holds it down proper. Keep it gangsta, Ev.

not sure -> Bitch u cold as Ice!

Gentlemen! Now this is a bong!!

Materials used:
-either a ghetto-ass wine serving decanter, or a ghetto-ass flower vase
-brass coupling bowl
-stainless steel stem, curve formed
-aluminum tape and shrink wrap tubing connection
-rubber grommet stem seal
-rubber grommet choke pad

Smokability:
Hohohohohohohohohohohohohoho
Happy muthafuckin' holidays, big boys.
Full grown men have sat on my lap and asked for bigger, badder, more bodacious bongs, and I have listened.
You want cold? Get some ice cubes and drop them down the bitch's throat.
You want smooth? I hammered in a mild S to force more hot air to collide with the cold steel on its way down.
You want to see milky clouds? Shieeet, this will give you a veil of fog straight out of Hell's wintery 7th tier.

Room Stinkability:
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You smoke this, and your chest hair will grow chest hair.

Fireball whiskey -> Mini Sterilization Kit

Materials used:
-stainless steel deep bowl
-green aluminum stem
-rubber grommet stem seal
-rubber grommet choke hole comfort pad

Smokability:
Before you even say shit. Yes, that green is fucking repulsive. Ran out of long red stems while putting it together, but replacement is easy. Hell, even if you want some next shit like Malachite, or Razzmatazz pink, or you on that United Nations Blue tip, holla atcha boi.
Inspired by the way bums like to take stealth swigs of their brown paper bag booze, you can hit this and store it in your pocket.

Room Stinkability:
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Domingo wine cooler -> Tropicool

Materials used:
-black aluminum stem (short)
-stainless steel stem extension
-aluminum tape & shrink wrap tubing connector
-rubber grommet at the mouth of bottle, holding the stem in place
-aluminum conical bowl
-electric cord housing inhalation hose
-rubber grommet inhalation hose seal

Smokability:
Goodness fucking gracious. This is one of my new favourites.
Again, being a mostly vertical bottle, the stem travels downwards from the mouth and into the pool of burbbly magic. You can take one-hits from this with enough ingredient to pass out, and feel like you've been chewing Dentyne. Telling y'all right now, I'm keeping one of these for myself.

Room Stinkability:
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Also comes without label. Fkin toucans.

Crown Royal 375mL -> The Tiara For Men

Oh you fancy, huh?

Materials used:
-royal-ass red aluminum stem
-brass deep bowl
-rubber grommet stem seal
-any kind of percolation action you fkin want

Smokability:
This item is strictly for mans looking for something to show off prestige and affluence, with sneakiness held in high priority. Yo boys will be like "damn son". Bitches will be like "shit son". Your mom will be like "how adorable!". If she can find it.
You straight ballin' with this little number.

Room Stinkability:
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Jelly Belly -> Yougottatryoutthisjar,man

Materials used:
-a fucking jar
-diy rubber band airtight seal (replaced crappy plastic one)
-full stainless steel stem (magenta)
-aluminum bowl
-rubber grommet stem seal (airtight)
-rubber grommet inhalation hose seal (airtight)
-mild steel 0.5mm pencil body shell, flattened and drilled (T joint)
-super sculpey T joint seal

Smokability:
I know exactly what you're thinking. You're all like "lol wat".
But oh man, you've gotta try this jar.
I honestly wish I could put these T joints on more of my shit, but sadly I ain't a Ship In A Bottle builder muthafucka. The multi bubble stream is sick, and it does such a great job of cooling, it's ridiculous. Gotta take advantage of that horizontal space, ya feel me?

Room Stinkability:
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Dayum those were some good-ass jellybeans.

Crown Royal -> Salad King

Materials used:
-gorgeous glass stem and bowl set (detachable)
-black vinyl tape as contact buffer
-vinyl tubing inhalation hose
-rubber grommet seal (air tight)


Smokability:
Behold, peasants! Feel the majesty exude from this luxurious piece. It's the Winnebago of smoking apparatuses.
No detail has been skipped in making this as effective as it is exquisite. The vinyl tape around the lip of the glass stem acts as an airtight sealer, a soft pad between two glass surfaces, and is advantageously the right thick/thinness to still allow the cap to close over the mouth.
The business end of the glass stem had its own muzzle brake-type notchings, but effectiveness was lost in their design, size, and placement. A custom vinyl tubing muzzle brake has been placed over it to jack that shit up.
A nice, extra long tube from which to inhale lets you take a look at that phat chamber fill up from any angle you want as it stands in its imperial magnificence.

Room Stinkability:
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St. Remy Brandy -> The Imp

Materials used:
-full stainless steel stem (magenta)
-full brass threaded bowl
-rubber grommet stem seal (air tight)
-rubber grommet choke hole comfort pad

Smokability:
The Imp is about simplicity. This baby is built with travel and compactness in mind, or if your hiding place doesn't have the luxury of much space. The compromise is the lack of fancifying the hole at the end of the stem.

Room Stinkability:
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PJ cream wine -> Bulbous

Materials used:
-high quality stainless steel stem + bowl with cover
-stainless steel stem extension
-rubber grommet on stem seal (air tight)
-rubber grommet choke hole comfort pad

Smokability:
Look at this fat-ass water chamber; you know that's going to fill up nicely. It's just a shame you can't see it as the interior gets totally fogged up, unlike clear bongs.
I slapped on some shrink-wrap tubing on the bottom end of the downstem to make these bubbles come out smaller in size, ensuring cooling efficiency up the nards.

Room Stinkability:
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Tanqueray -> The Q

Materials used:
-aluminum bowl and stem
-full brass L bend joint
-vinyl tubing "muzzle brake"
-rubber grommet seal (leak free)
-rubber o-ring Ljoint-to-stem sealer (leak free)

Smokability:
Making use of the same smoke intake system as the Roboner, this bitch also gets around the inherent difficulties of a stumpy body and a short neck, to the point of actually taking advantage of these traits. On top of that, just look at it.
Srsly, what the fuck was I thinking?

No need for a choke, this is more of a direct bowl-to-chamber-to-lungs shindig. Again, the tubing where smoke touches water is cut up into a muzzle brake for multiple streams of bubbles and better cooling.

Room Stinkability:
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Grey Goose - THE GOOSE TURNS GREY

Materials used:
-aluminum bowl and stem
-stainless steel stem extension
-aluminum tape + shrink wrap stem connector
-shrink wrap tubing bubble shrinker seal
-vinyl tubing inhalation hose
-rubber grommets (hose seal and choke hole comfort pad)

Smokability:
Shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, this is ma nigga right here. I seriously love this ignant son of a bitch.
Technically, it's not a bong. I actually don't know what the fuck it is.
The bowl sits snugly right on the mouth of the bottle - a perfect fit - and the stem travels down the neck, all the way down to the bottom, as it dangles in the center of the pit. I extend the original stem's reach with some stainless steel tubing, and pop on a shrink wrap tubing seal at the tip. Again, dat tiny bubble technology doing its job so damn well that you need a ludicrously small amount of water to cool perfectly.
And then comes the focal point of this piece of art, THE GOOSE TURNS GREY

Room Stinkability:
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Pop Shoppe soda -> The "Roboner"

Materials used:
-full brass flexi doorstopper
-full brass L angle joint
-vinyl tubing with "muzzle brake"
-vinyl tubing seal (leak free)

DISCONTINUED

Perrier -> Purdy Air

Materials used:
-full brass flexi door stopper
-rubber grommet stem seal (air tight)
-rubber grommet choke hole comfort pad
-vinyl tubing with "muzzle brake"

DISCONTINUED
>>> Check the updated version